What to Say to Someone Who Is Suicidal

When a friend or a family member is experiencing suicidal thoughts, it can feel overwhelming. You might not know what to say or do. That's normal.

As World Suicide Prevention Day approaches on September 10th, we want to emphasize the importance of educating yourself on this mental health issue.

Learning more about how to approach it with care and compassion can genuinely help. By understanding signs, being patient, and offering safe space as well as practical support, you can make a real difference in the life of someone you care about. 

Key Takeaways

• Recognize the common warning signs of someone who is considering suicide.

• Approach the conversation with someone suicidal with empathy, using supportive language.

• Ask direct questions about suicidal thoughts.

• Ensure the individual's comfort by creating a safe environment.

• Follow up regularly and continue offering support through the recovery process.

• Provide resources such as suicide prevention helplines.

• Encourage them to seek professional help.

Warning Signs Someone You Know May Be Suicidal

If you want to help someone feeling suicidal, start by learning how to spot any warning signs that indicate a decline in their mental health. Look for verbal and behavioral changes that show they're struggling. Knowing these signs lets you offer support, recognize immediate danger, and even prevent tragedy.

Verbal Cues

"The limits of my language are the limits of my world." - Ludwig Wittgenstein

How we choose to speak to ourselves and each other tells a lot about the mental headspace we're currently in. A self-critical, highly negative, and unsettling language is a big clue to suicidal ideation. 

Don't ignore or underestimate the gravity of the situation if you hear your loved one saying something like: 

• "I just want to die."

• "I can't do this anymore. I give up."

• "I'm a burden to others."

• "It would be easier for everyone if I disappeared."

• "I have no reason to live."

• "I bet no one would miss me if I were gone."

They might feel hopeless or worthless and can also express how much they want to escape their life.

Behavioral Changes

While verbal cues are important, actions speak even louder than words. If you notice changes in behavior in someone who may be having suicidal thoughts, take them seriously. Look for signs like: 

• Pulling away from loved ones, 

• Ignoring personal care, 

• Self-harming behaviors,

• Significant mood swings,

• Memory and/or focus issues

• Taking huge risks and impulsive actions, 

• Giving away items of personal importance.  

These behavioral changes probably mean they're actively suicidal or might be planning to end their life.

Remember, signs of suicide may differ from one person to another. Paying attention to both what they say and do can help you keep them safe and spot when they need support.

What to Say to Someone Who Is Suicidal

We've all been through ups and downs in our lives. When going through tough times, being able to talk to someone empathetic and respectful can be an irreplaceable source of emotional support. If you know someone who might be suicidal, the best thing you can do is be an active part of their support system. 

If you don't know exactly what to say to a loved one who is experiencing suicidal thoughts, just remember to keep the conversation supportive and non-judgmental. This way, you minimize their mental distress and dissolve the underlying feelings of guilt and shame.

Starting a conversation about suicide is hard, but doing it right can change someone's life. You can make your loved one feel safe and supported by treating them with unconditional acceptance and continuous compassion. Such a reliable bond can act as a lighthouse, guiding them in the right direction toward the resources they need.

Approach the Conversation with Care

Talking to someone who is suicidal requires great care and sensitivity. It's a tough topic that can stir painful feelings. So, creating a safe space where they feel heard and supported is vital.

Here are some tips to keep in mind:

1. Choose a private, comfortable setting where the person feels safe to open up.

2. Speak in a calm, reassuring tone and maintain eye contact to convey your attention and empathy.

3. Validate their emotions and let them know that it's okay to feel the way they're feeling.

It's essential to dive into this challenging topic in a way that builds trust. This encourages them to share their thoughts and feelings.

Avoid Dismissive Statements

Whether your colleague, a close friend, or a loved one is suicidal - discussing this topic is challenging. It's essential to know that, most likely, you won't be able to say all the right things. After all, we're just human.

Luckily, it's well within your power to avoid using dismissive statements like:

• "Come on! Surely it's not that bad." 

• "But you have so much to live for."

• "Don't even say that!"

• "Aren't you overreacting? Things could be worse."

• "You know, other people are not as lucky as you are."

While you might want to comfort them, saying things like that is a one-way street to making things worse and making them feel unheard or invalidated. 

Ask Direct Questions 

Perhaps you're concerned about someone in your life who seems suicidal, and you don't know how to start this talk. That's understandable. The topic of suicide may seem daunting and terrifying. If you feel this way, just remember to stick to normal responses and avoid over-complicating things. 

Asking simple, straightforward questions allows you to assess the risk level, recognize any negative thoughts, see if your loved one is in imminent danger, and figure out what to do next. 

When asking someone about suicide, make sure to stay gentle, tactful, and kind. This makes the person feel understood, not attacked or judged.

Here are some examples of questions to ask:

• Are you having thoughts of suicide?

• Have you thought about ending your life?

• Do you have a plan to take your own life?

These questions about suicide help keep them safe. How exactly?

• Firstly, they let your loved one know that you're concerned about their safety and deeply care for them. Receiving your confidential support might make them feel less isolated. 

• Secondly, helping your loved one talk about being suicidal creates an opportunity for them to open up, feel relieved, and decide to seek help, such as specific counselling services or mental health professionals. 

• Lastly, thanks to their answers, you can assess the risk of suicide, check how likely to end their life they might be, and take an appropriate course of action.

Use Supportive Language

Opening up the conversation about suicide can be incredibly challenging. When talking to a friend or loved one, be very mindful of the words you choose to use.  Through empathetic communication, active listening skills, and a gentle tone of voice, you offer a safe environment for them. This way, they can try to explore painful emotions and navigate thoughts connected to suicide and self-harm.

What to say to someone who is suicidal? Here are some things you can say to let them know that you're worried for their safety and that you're there for them:

• "I can see you're struggling right now. That must be difficult."

• "I'm here to listen without judgment. Your feelings are valid and important."

• "You matter, and your life is precious."

• "I'm so sorry things are difficult for you right now. I want to help you find a way through this."

• "I'm here for you. You're not alone in this."

At the end of the day, it's important to remember that creating a safe space is not that complicated. Your job is to listen, refrain from making negative or insensitive remarks, try your best to understand their situation, and help your loved one find professional support. 

Following Up and Providing Ongoing Support

Supporting someone who is suicidal doesn't stop after the first talk. It's key to keep in touch and check up often. This ensures they keep getting the care and support they need. Your steady support can significantly help their recovery.

Make time to talk with the person regularly. This could be a daily call, a weekly coffee date, or a monthly video chat. These meetings help you see how they're doing, tackle new issues, and offer a safe place to talk. 

By supporting those in crisis and checking on their mental health often, you help them through tough times. You remind them they're not alone and that their life matters. Your steady support can bring hope and inspiration when they feel lost. That's how they can find their inner strength to keep going. One step at a time. 

Providing Crisis Support and Resources

Remember that you don't have to help someone suicidal on your own. Nor should you.

When your loved one is struggling with suicidal thoughts, it's key to connect them with a counsellor or other mental health professional who has expertise in providing tangible help, like creating a crisis plan, showing healthy coping strategies, or sharing other valuable resources. 

Whether your loved one is in immediate danger or not, prioritize directing them to a suicide crisis line. These hotlines have trained counselors ready to help 24/7. They offer crisis help and can connect you with local mental health services.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 is a free, confidential helpline for anyone in the U.S.

You can also use these resources: Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 Trevor Lifeline (LGBTQ+): 1-866-488-7386

Get Support with Love Institute Discovery

Connecting your loved one with local mental health services is crucial here. This includes therapists, counselors, support groups, or psychiatric care. You're making a big difference by providing them with the right resources. 

For those in Miami, our Coral Gables location provides a safe and supportive environment where you can work through your challenges and mental health issues with the guidance of one of our therapists. We also offer remote sessions for those who may not be able to visit us in person but still wish to benefit from our expertise. 

Our team at Love Discovery Institute is here to support you every step of the way. 

Contact us at 305-605-LOVE (5683) or book a session online here.

Meet the Team

www.lovediscovery.org

305-605-LOVE

Author

THE TEAM AT LOVE DISCOVERY INSTITUTE The Love Discovery Institute prides itself on a diverse team of highly skilled therapists and coaches dedicated to enhancing relationship and personal development. Our team members are specialized in a variety of therapeutic approaches, ensuring that we cater to the individual needs of our clients. Each professional is committed to providing empathetic, informed, and effective guidance to help individuals and couples achieve profound emotional and relational fulfillment. Services Include: Couples Therapy | Individual Therapy | Family Therapy Certified Sex Therapy | Gottman Method | Imago Relationship Therapy NLP Coaching | Psychological Assessments | Conflict Resolution Specialization in Intimacy Dynamics | Infidelity Issues | Personal Growth